Tuesday, January 6, 2009

2008 in Movies: A Top Ten Adventure

This is the one I'm expecting to cause the most disagreement.

10. Burn After Reading

Even the Coen Brothers' B-game is better than most directors' A-game. The sloppy, confusing plot and a conclusion basically say that life is sloppy and confusing and why should movies be any different. Even though it is basically a cinematic "Eff You," an ensemble of stellar knock-out performances make this movie a must-see.

9. Tropic Thunder

This is the funniest comedy of 2008.

Sure, there may be other movies that are considered comedies higher up on the list, but "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" also has some heavy elements of tragedy, and "WALL-E" holds a heavy message, and plays more for emotional resonance than guffaws.

As far as movies designed to make you chuckle, "Pineapple Express," "Role Models," and "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" have nothing on "Tropic Thunder."

Biting, offensive, violent and intelligent, "Thunder" is Ben Stiller's best movie since "Zoolander," and features two of the best comedic performances of the decade, courtesy of Robert Downey Jr. and Tom Cruise. This is the movie to be quoting with your friends for the next three years or so.

8. Iron Man

Jon Favreau and Robert Downey Jr. brought something to this movie that has been desperately missing from superhero action movies--intelligence.

Although its comic book smarts would be topped later in the summer by a certain other superhero film, its fun-loving vibe, quotable quips and super-likable lead man remained tops.

7. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

A heartbreaking look at the 20th Century brought to life with stellar performances by Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchette in the leads.

Allowing a few of his strange choices in handling this story, director David Fincher constructed this film elegantly, and it was probably the best Christmas release, if not the highest grossing.

6. Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Woody Allen found his niche years ago, and has spent decades carving it out. Possibly his best film in years, it features a stellar performance by Javier Bardem, who is decidedly much more charming and much less creepy than in "No Country for Old Men."

5. Gran Torino

Clint Eastwood is so manly that his sweat is 80 proof.

This movie about a crotchety, racist war vet (who may be wearing Dirty Harry's underpants) protecting his neighbors from gang violence shows not only that Clint Eastwood is a skilled director, but he's still got the charisma to carry a movie and the ability to do action. It doesn't reach the bar of "Million Dollar Baby," but it comes darn close.

4. Frost/Nixon

Before seeing this, I wasn't sold on Frank Langella as Richard Nixon, and the trailers didn't win me over.

But oh man, do not count this guy out. It is an astounding performance that gets in the head of the former President, and embodies him in the way no other actor has. Ron Howard doesn't let the movie get carried on this performance, however, and turns in his best film since "Apollo 13."

3. The Wrestler
Mount Pleasant isn't getting "The Wrestler," so I'm writing this based on what others have said, because I don't want a repeat of last year where I named "Grindhouse" movie of the year because I had yet to see "No Country for Old Men" or "There Will Be Blood."

Mickey Rourke won a Golden Globe for this last night, and it's easy to see why. He may be a difficult-to-work-with man-diva, but when he commits to a role, he puts his blood, guts and soul into it. That, along with a killer supporting cast, brand new song by Bruce Springsteen, and sublime direction from the superb Darren Aronofsky will almost certainly have me driving to Lansing to see this movie because Celebration Cinemas of Mount Pleasant seems to actively avoid showing awards-season movies.

2. WALL-E

This movie has heart, soul, charm, intelligence, and a message. Oh, and it's freaking GORGEOUS to look at.

How Pixar keeps picking folks out of their animation department that have never directed before and keep turning out gems like this is beyond me, but I hope they continue. Andrew Stanton makes magic with this movie, making some of the most expressive, emotive, relatable robot characters ever in a movie, and telling an amazing story where the main characters almost NEVER talk.

Also, any director of an animated movie who decides the only live-action character in the film should be played by Fred Willard is absolutely on the right track.

1. The Dark Knight

Call me a fanboy. Call me a nerd. I can take it. This was the best movie of the year.

Comic nerds will always talk about the psychology of Batman in great depth, as a reaction to the mainstream public who see him as a childish character with homosexual undertones. This movie outdoes even the most fervent Batman fan in terms of asserting the character's depth and assertiveness, and fictional value.

This film takes a character that has been a part of the public consciousness in one form or another for 70 years, and boils him down to the core of his character in a fascinatingly twisted, noirish moral tale.

At times Batman has been a hero, a detective, a martial artist, a father figure, a violent loner, and so many other things, but that's not the true character. The true character is the one seen here: The man who wants to play God, who goes to the depths of hell to win, because he believes with every ounce of his being that he can not afford to lose. He is whatever Gotham City needs him to be, even if it's not what anybody wants him to be.

The mentality of the character has some fascinating political parallels, but there is so much more to this story than that. The movie is an outstanding crime film, a moral drama, a dark comedy, a rather traditional noir film, and the best superhero movie to ever come out, all wrapped in one package.

So much could be said about Christopher Nolan--who may very well be the Fritz Lang of this generation--for his directing ability, his supernaturally good script, and capability to handle this insanely, obscenely huge production with grace.

Let us not forget Heath Ledger. The last few years have given us a string of fantastically iconic villains. 2006 had Jack Nicholson as Frank Costello in "The Departed." 2007 had Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh in "No Country for Old Men." However, I don't think 2009, 2010, or 2011 will give us a villain as haunting, nuanced, or scary as Heath Ledger's Joker.

I'm not one of those guys that thinks nobody should ever play the character again. I would love to see a talented actor put another original spin on it. However, I don't think anybody will EVER top Ledger. This performance was lightning in a bottle. It was his 7th Symphony.

Every performance, every crewmember, every word on the script, came together to make this movie magical. This is the are genre film that transcends its genre to become a bona fide classic. This is what Silence of the Lambs was to horror.

So that's my stand on 2008 in movies. Now argue with me.

2008 in Internet Fads: A Top Ten Adventure

To gear up for the new year and the return of Central Michigan Life to regular publishing next week, Lifeline Online will be posting a series of "Best Of"s for the past year. Movies, music, internet fads, and even Central Michigan University itself will all be itemized and evaluated, with a grand finale of the 10 most important cultural figures in next Monday's paper.

We'll kick it off with the ten best Internet Fads of 2008.

10. "I'm F---ing Matt Damon"

It's very occasional that Jimmy Kimmel's late-night show is funny. You've basically got "This Week in Unnecessary Censorship" and this:



9. "Charlie Bit Me"

Sometimes exceedingly adorable children is all you need to get a video featured in national commercials.

8. "Italian Spiderman"

This may be quite obscure, but it also happens to be the best thing ever.



7. Miss South Carolina 2007 Caitlin Upton's incoherent response




6. Y'arr, New Facebook ahoy

A beta version of a new interface for hyper-popular social networking ubersite Facebook was put up in Summer 2008, and the new interface became permanent in September, to the loud complaining and protesting of many a high schooler. Those who took the time to learn and use the new streamlined system, however, were generally happy with it.

Another related change occurred on September 19, in observance on International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Facebook added a new language option, English (Pirate). As verbalized on this very blog, it is awesome.

5. The Internet vs. Scientology

Scientology got a one-two punch of mob-rage and idiocy this year.

Scores of mass-coordinated protests and rallies against the Church of Scientology were carried out in front of Scientology centers around the world several days last year.  Carried out under the name "Project Chanology," the protesters coordinated their protests mainly over the imageboard 4Chan.

4. Joker becomes a meme



After the dynamite opening of "The Dark Knight" this summer, the internet was infatuated with the late Heath Ledger's Joker. One could not go onto a forum without seeing "Why so serious?'

3. Puppy Cam!

A webcam trained on a box full of Shiba Inu puppies became one of the most fad-tastic stops on the Internet last year, and were featured on everything from CNN to Bill O'Reilly.

Because who doesn't love puppies?

2. Twitter


This social networking site, revolving around 140-character or less mini-posts, has seen its user base double in the last year. Media outlets from newspapers, websites and TV networks to Joe the Blogger are all twittering up a storm, with no sign of slowing from the Little Social Network That Could.

1. Rickrolling

The Internet knows the rules and so do I.

Technically beginning late 2007 in the dark orifice of the Internet known as the 4Chan imageboards, the act of Rickrolling is tricking somebody into unexpectedly watching a video of the '80s hit "Never Gonna Give You Up," by Rick Astley. Starting in the early part of the year, the phenomenon grew astronomically.

Rickrolls found their way to sporting events, and board meetings, and YouTube got in on the fun for April Fools' Day, turning every link on their frontpage into a Rickroll.

During the madness of the election, an Obama-themed spinoff known as the "Barackroll" became a huge hit, made from clips of Barack Obama's speeches edited together so that he sings the entire song.

The swan song for this phenomenon came at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, when Rick Astley appeared on a float and performed approximately a minute of the song, effectively Rickrolling an entire national holiday.

2008 will forever be remembered as the Year of the Rickroll. Mainly because, God willing, this fad will not continue into 2009.

Monday, December 15, 2008

In Low SPIRITs

Blackfilm.com has a special feature on Frank Miller's upcoming "The Spirit," including six clips from the film.

I've read "The Spirit" comics. They were good. There have been good Spirit comics even after the loss of Will Eisner (so brilliant that the comic book industry's annual awards are named after him).

This, ladies and gentlemen, is not The Spirit.

It hardly looks like a movie.

This will be crap. Mark my words.

If you need more proof, a trusted contributor to Ain't It Cool News calls it worse than "Battlefield Earth," thus being the WORST MOVIE EVER.

You are warned.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I CAN'T WAIT...

To see how bad the live-action "Dragonball" movie really is.

Dragonball: Evolution Picture

Coming from Fox, how stupid this looks is really no surprise. It looks like "Dragonball" by way of the Fox "X-Men" movie franchise. And where did that stupid "Evolution" subtitle come from, anyways?

That really makes me think we're going to sit through one of the more absurd parts of Dragonball lore: Goku turning into a gigantic killer monkey.

I CAN'T WAIT.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Ridley Scott Passes GO

Fan-favorite director Ridley Scott, the man responsible for such movies as "Blade Runner," "Alien," and "American Gangster," is signed on to direct a film adaptation of "Monopoly."

Yes, THIS "Monopoly":

http://thefuntimesguide.com/images/blogs/monopoly-here-and-now-game-board.jpg

Granted, this isn't the first time a board game would be adapted into a feature film, but at least "Clue" had a plot to begin with. I have a hard time seeing how "Monopoly" could have a coherent plot and not be exactly like "Wall Street."

Furthermore, there is an absolute necessity to include the face of Monopoly, Rich Uncle Pennybags, AKA Mr. Monopoly. My vote is for J.K. Simmons, J. Jonah Jameson from "Spider-Man":
http://www.ez-entertainment.net/carpet/Spidey5.JPG

But that's not even the weirdest part. The Hollywood Reporter's article states that this is only part of a development deal between Hasbro and Universal Pictures, that includes the in-production "G.I. Joe" movie, the television game show "Trivial Pursuit: America Plays," and feature films based on "Battleship," and "Ouija Board."

HOW DO YOU MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT A OUIJA BOARD????

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

"Aw, HELL naw."


Yeah, the kid with the 'fro from "The Pursuit of Happyness."

Starring in "The Karate Kid."

There is no way this is going to end well.

I'll take bets on who will play the Mr. Miyagi role: Jackie Chan or Papa Will?