Thursday, October 30, 2008


...I never thought there was a chance to see Beatles music in a video game.

But now it seems so far away.

At 10:00 this morning, Harmonix/MTV Networks and Apple Corps, the company started by the Beatles that handles all their business, announced that a brand new music game will be released featuring the Fab Four's music in Winter 2009.

Although news sources are already reporting it, Gamedaily has a live-updated transcript of the conference call in which the conference was made. The transcript is in reverse-chronology, though, because it was constantly updated. So, if you want the information to be coherent, start at the bottom.

The "Rock Band" developer said the game will be similar to "Rock Band," although the game will be freshly built from the ground up, and be tailored specifically to Beatles' music. Similarities between the new game and "Rock Band" are expected, however.

Personally, I just can't wait for a guitar peripheral shaped like this:

Monday, October 20, 2008


Twelve hours until my birthday, and I'm such a benevolent guy that I'M going to give a present to YOU:

For the record, he's playing a Kazookeylele.


-Zack Snyder's "Watchmen" screened in Portland, and the hearsay is that the ending was RADICALLY changed from the book. Check out Rich Johnston's Lying in the Gutters on CBR this evening, and there will hopefully be more. UPDATE: LITG is up, and Johnston reports that the ending was completely different, but the word is that Snyder filmed multiple endings, including the bizarre extraterrestrial squid-feint that was the ending of the book.

So I wish the best of weeks to all of you on this fine Monday. Hopefully I'll post in a few days, but chances are, I'll look like this within 12 hours:

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Punching superheroes

By this point, it's no secret that I'm a fan of comic books and superheroes, as well as video games.

This autumn has a couple of interesting offerings for people like me, in the form of two very interesting superhero video games.

Firstly, October 21 sees the release of "Spider-Man: Web of Shadows," a non-movie-based game which sees Venom reproducing his alien symbiote, and the resulting clones attack and take over people all over New York.

Those turned into Venom-style monsters include The Vulture, Black Cat, and Wolverine. There will be guest-stars from all corners of the Marvel Universe, including the aforementioned  characters as well as SHIELD, Luke Cage, Moon Knight, Black Widow, and others.

The game will build off of the basis of the previous Spidey video games, so expect high-flying, action-packed beat-em-up action with high-octane webslinging mechanics.

As cool as this game sounds, I don't think the trailer could be more depressing:

Looks a lot like the recent "Venom Bomb" arc in the "Mighty Avengers" comic, but hopefully with less Bendis-style "Skip the action sequences in favor of pages-long exchanges of dialogue" storytelling.

Also, one last note that I would like to convey to everybody working on Spider-Man video games, cartoons, movies and comics for the next few years:


We will now segway from talking about Venom to a couple of other culturally dated relics from the early-to-mid nineties: Alex Ross and "Mortal Kombat."

"Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe" will be released in early November, and is a fighting game where the world of Mortal Kombat collides with the world of Batman, Superman, and that whole lot of superhumans.

Ignoring the fact that I'm sure I will play it, this game has been a geek-rage sticking point for me since it was announced. Although I have no problem with seemingly random mash-ups like hyper-violent video game fighters taking on big shiny superheroes, I have problems with how it's being handled.

How can Sonya Blade have a chance of besting Superman in a hand-to-hand fight? How do you perform fatalities on god-like characters like Captain Marvel and Darkseid? Why would you do something as benign and uncharacteristic as turning The Joker into a hand-to-hand fighter?

And most importantly, how can you have a fighting game featuring Batman, when Batman never loses a fight, ever?

That said, I am PUMPED to play a Green Lantern vs. Raiden fight, from both sides of the conflict.

And now, it's been announced that the special "Kollector's Edition" of the game will feature a 16-page comic by MK ko-kreator John Tobias, and cover art by overrated painter Alex Ross.

First of all, that looks like the movie poster for some terrible 80s fantasy flick. If somebody ever made a sequel to "Labyrinth," this is what the promotional materials would look like.

Secondly, Ross' style is hyper-photorealistic, and he draws EVERYTHING from photo reference, which begs the question, why not just use pictures? Also, his incessant photo-referencing gives his male superheroes the tendency to look like his doughy, middle-aged next-door neighbors.

So, I'm closing this post with a list of artists, which I am pulling off the top of my head, whose art would make a better cover than that of Alex Ross:

Thursday, October 9, 2008

"I'm just your friendly neighborhood cash cow!"

There may not be an entity on the planet capable of spending more money than U.S. Congress as of late, but goshdarnit if "Lion King" and "Across the Universe" auteur Julie Taymor from trying.

She has been working for years on a Broadway musical adaptation of "Spider-Man" (which is already failed to be less awesome than "Italian Spiderman"), scheduled to open its doors next year.

Michael Riedel's NY Post-sense is tingling with the news that the show is going to cost $35-40 million just to get it to the stage, and consecutive weekly costs of $1 million to keep the show running.

What does that mean?

"Spider-Man: The Musical" will never, ever make any money whatsoever.

Sure, it's a big-budget musical that's bound to cause waves, especially with an already lauded musical score by U2's Bono,  but put it in perspective: If somebody spent $40 million to make a movie, and then only show that movie in one location in one city, that person would be taken to the looney bin.

As I have done in innumerable situations for the past two or so months, I would suggest taking a note from Tropic Thunder, and starting work on a documentary on the failure of the production now, in hopes that it would be more successful than the actual play.

If you want real-world examples, it worked great for "Some Kind of Monster," the documentary of Metallica writing and recording their "St. Anger" album, which was infinitely better than the album itself.

But let us not forget the broad strokes of why this will fail:


Sunday, October 5, 2008

A new generation of bike stealing...


Thank you for listening to me after all these years, God.

Now if you could just get back to me about that "ROM Spaceknight" movie, we'd really be in business.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Frank Miller = "Hamlet 2"s Dana Marschz?

Frank Miller is writing a new graphic novel sequel to "300," almost solely for the purpose of adapting it into a new sequel for the smash movie.



Firstly, like they said in "Hamlet 2," how can you have a sequel if all the main characters are dead?

Secondly, have you READ the crap Miller has written lately? His "All-Star Batman and Robin" is a caricature of his older, better stuff. There is more subtlety to be found in a bucket full of hammers.

It's all, "I'm the G**D***ed Batman!" and "I'm the f***ing Batgirl!"

What would a "300" sequel sound like? "This is Sparta, mother****er!"

If that's the case (and it probably is), Sam Jackson better start getting in leather underwear-shape.