Thursday, October 9, 2008

"I'm just your friendly neighborhood cash cow!"

There may not be an entity on the planet capable of spending more money than U.S. Congress as of late, but goshdarnit if "Lion King" and "Across the Universe" auteur Julie Taymor from trying.

She has been working for years on a Broadway musical adaptation of "Spider-Man" (which is already failed to be less awesome than "Italian Spiderman"), scheduled to open its doors next year.

Michael Riedel's NY Post-sense is tingling with the news that the show is going to cost $35-40 million just to get it to the stage, and consecutive weekly costs of $1 million to keep the show running.

What does that mean?

"Spider-Man: The Musical" will never, ever make any money whatsoever.

Sure, it's a big-budget musical that's bound to cause waves, especially with an already lauded musical score by U2's Bono,  but put it in perspective: If somebody spent $40 million to make a movie, and then only show that movie in one location in one city, that person would be taken to the looney bin.

As I have done in innumerable situations for the past two or so months, I would suggest taking a note from Tropic Thunder, and starting work on a documentary on the failure of the production now, in hopes that it would be more successful than the actual play.

If you want real-world examples, it worked great for "Some Kind of Monster," the documentary of Metallica writing and recording their "St. Anger" album, which was infinitely better than the album itself.

But let us not forget the broad strokes of why this will fail:


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